It's true I have been grumpy and I'm sure they were trying to be nice but the last thing a grumpy old woman wants to deal with is nice - especially unsolicited nice.
I can just about cope with a friendly smile or a wave, or even a caring, "How are you, today?" but when I reply that I'm perfectly fine, I find that all the helpful suggestions that are supposed to fix me make me think about turning to violence. I'm sure it's all part of this peri-menopause thing but I'm often getting the urge to punch perfectly nice people.
If you know me and you would like to avoid my fist landing on you then here are some helpful suggestions of things to avoid saying to me:
1. Go to the doctor.
2. HRT is the best thing ever.
3. I've had a coil fitted, you should do that.
4. I swear by the pill, I've been on it since I was 16 and never had a single problem.
5. You look terrible.
6. You are very pale.
7. You should take a B vitamin.
8. You need iron tablets.
9. A hysterectomy isn't that bad.
10. Brown rice, nuts seed and organic fruit and vegetables, that will sort you out.
11. Take a good isofloflavone, that will regulate your hormones.
12. You should take up yoga
13. You're probably not drinking enough water.
14. Don't eat nuts and seeds.
15. Go and see my friend Marian, she's very nice, she could help you.
14. These painkillers are the best.
15. Let me tell you about my aunty Maureen and what she went through.
16. Maybe you'd feel better if you made a bit of an effort; some nice lipstick, that sort of thing.
I'm sure there are others but these will do for now.
You are allowed to say:
1. Looking perfectly fine, today
2. Pull yourself together
3. Stop being such a wimp.
I'm sorry if you are one of the nice people and I've just upset you. The problem is you don't know what I might be doing already and some things are not easily fixed, except (hopefully) by time.
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