Delusional

Training to be an Homeopath was one of the most interesting things I've ever done.  Homeopathy is a fascinating subject and to me always felt more scientific than conventional medicine.  Each medicine is given on the principle of like curing like and the symptoms of what it can cure are found by healthy human volunteers taking the medicine until symptoms start to appear (proving)

Practising Homeopathy was a completely different matter.  Helping people was wonderful but trying to make a living from something that was (and still is) so vehemently ridiculed was very hard.  When I stopped practising I thought I would keep using it for acute illnesses and for a while I did.  But the one thing that Homeopathy taught me was that most things get better on their own.  When things don't get better then I do go back to the homeopathy but after seven years I'm just a little rusty.  The fact that sometimes the first remedy works and other times it takes 2 or 3 goes to get it right and other times nothing works and you just have to wait for your body to do it's own thing, makes me think it can't just be placebo.

For the last month I've been feeling a bit under the weather and after a child asked me if I was sure my cough was 'just a cough' I thought it was time to get the homeopathy books out again.  Because many remedies were 'proved' in Victorian times some things are quite hilarious.  I always enjoyed the delusion section.  In today's modern world delusions are symptoms that are only confessed by the clinically insane.  Most of us pretend not to have thoughts that don't match reality but we all do.

There are 18 pages of delusions in the book I'm looking at and they even have their own chapter.  There are some delusions I would really like to have;  Delusion she is beautiful, Delusion of fancies (I'd quite like a French Fancy), Delusion he cannot hear (could be quite useful during recorder lessons), Delusions he is a bottle of soda water (sounds fun - fizzy!), Delusion that she is surrounded by friends.   There are some that I can't even begin to imagine; Delusion corners of houses seem projected so that he fears he will run against them while walking in the street, Delusion that persons are furniture, Delusion mistook her friend for a Mandarin, Delusion fancies he is commanded to fall on his knees and confess his sins and rip up his bowels by a mushroom.

Sometimes what you think is a delusion turns out to be true.

These are my current delusions

1. I might have gone deaf (it's very quiet in this house)
2. I feel a little bit alone.
3.  My daughter is living with Halle Berry
4.  I am capable of being objective about my own symptoms (A visit to my homeopath is looking likely)
5.  I have only been coughing for a few weeks (The Long Suffering Husband says it's been 7 years but that might be his delusion)
6. I can eat unlimited amounts of cake and not get fat.
7.  I have a delusion that my kitchen is on fire and I can smell burning plastic..........

OH WAIT..............................

THAT'S NOT A DELUSION!