Have I mentioned that the piano is a stupid instrument?

There comes a moment in every blogger's life when the danger of repetition looms. My daughter is forever rolling her eyes and saying, "No mum, it's interesting, honest, it's just that I've heard this story before.", as I launch into a moral tale about the time I drank too much, threw up in her fathers car and how he has never let me forget it, even though it was 28 years ago and I haven't consumed a single alcoholic drink in the last 20 years.  So forgive me if I've had this rant before.

Today has been a difficult one, filled with hours of tortuous piano practice.  It was torture for me and anyone who happened to listen, who luckily was only the dog.  There has been an advert for a program on radio 2 about Dudley Moore, where he is asked what he does to relax away from the piano.  He says, "Relax?! You've got to be kidding!  All I do is play this blasted thing!"  I know how he feels.

 

I'm not a natural pianist.  My fingers tie up in knots and my hands ache and no matter how hard I try I just can't make it sound how I know it should. I don't even really like the sound of the piano.  I don't really enjoy listening to piano sonatas, unless they are by Chopin and played by Lang Lang.

Some really great people play the piano.  Jamie Cullum was on Desert Island Discs at the weekend and I might have fallen a little bit in love with him, as he seemed so lovely and funny.  Jamie and I have a lot in common.  He failed grade 4 piano because he couldn't read music and I failed grade 5 piano because I can't play the piano!

Jamie can even play with his feet.

Can anyone tell me why Lord of the Dance in the Come and Praise book is all in legato 3rds?  No I thought not.  I can feel a flute trio accompaniment coming on.  It would take far less time to write one than actually learn how to play legato 3rds without it sounding like an elephant has stamped on the keyboard.

I was determined that I wasn't going to take Les Dawson to the Church with me this Easter but he is refusing to leave me.  It's such a shame as the Bishop is leading the service and as I've never met him before I was hoping not to torture him.

 

The piano in the church has seen better days and there are several notes that just don't work even if you thump them and so I would like the church to know that when they want to get rid of it I would like to volunteer.