Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden

Women are meant to enjoy shopping.  At Christmas time we are meant to get excited about being able to wander around the shops and spend money, without feeling any guilt. Facebook is full of statuses excitedly claiming 'I've finished my Christmas shopping and bought myself x y or z.' or 'Spent all day at Westfield, loads of bags, sore feet but happy.'  Men, on the other hand, are supposed to leave it until the last minute and buy something totally unsuitable, in the wrong size and then be totally incapable of wrapping it up.

 

My husband is a genius at buying presents.  He likes walking around the shops and he is always able to buy me the most beautiful, thoughtful gifts and then he wraps them tastefully.  Buying presents for him brings me out in a cold sweat.  Last year, I was so excited because he had told me exactly what he wanted.  I couldn't go wrong.  I just had to go to a golf shop and get it but it was a disaster.  I didn't get quite the right one and despite asking in the shop if I could bring it back if it was wrong it turned out that bring it back meant to exchange for something else.  

This year, I also had full instructions.  I was given the price and the serial number and the shop to get it from. Unfortunately, it was a golf shop again but he had shown me exactly what it was, so I couldn't get it wrong.  The conversation in the shop went something like this:

Me:  Oh, hello.  Have you got the version of this that's £100 cheaper and does 36 holes?

Smug patronising man: 36 holes, madam.  You'll need the Lithium battery.  

Me:  But that's £200 more expensive!

SPM: Yes, is it a present?

Me:  For my husband.  He wanted the one that was £100 cheaper and does 36 holes.

SPM:  Then it will have to be this one here madam, the one with the Lithium battery.  (chuckle)  He does have expensive tastes, doesn't he (wink!)

Me: No, he doesn't want the one with the Lithium Battery.

SPM: What you don't understand is that it's the only way of getting 36 holes.

Me:  Oh, I'm sure...

SPM: For just an extra £47 I could give you a spare battery and he could change it at lunchtime.

Me:  I don't think it's the one he wants

SPM:  You could always buy it and bring it back after Christmas if it's not right.

Me:  For a refund?

SPM: An exhange or credit note.

Me:  Would you have the right one after Christmas?

SPM:  What you don't understand is, he will love this one - it's perfect.

Me:  (leaving shop, grumbling under breath) I do understand, you patronising ***

Is it worse to have no present or the wrong thing?  This year I'm going for no present.