Christmas Cards

Just the thought of Christmas cards makes me go all Bah Humbug.  I don't like writing them and I don't know what to do with them when I get them.  They go on the bookcase or mantelpiece and gather dust until New Year's day when I finally get the courage to put them in the card recycling box.  This sort of attitude should be reserved for Grumpy Old Women only but I've always felt like this.

When the red post box came out at school I just used to think, 'Oh no, here we go again!'  Every day someone would be chosen to empty the post box and sort the cards during their lunch time.  That someone was usually me.  Not being very sporty or outdoorsy  kind of person and being able to read did mean lunchtimes running up to Christmas playing postman. After lunch we would all sit on the carpet and have our cards given out.  You could instantly spot the slightly smelly kid because they'd only get one or two cards.  The popular, good looking children would have hundreds to open every day.  It was ritual humiliation.  If people on the carpet next to you found out that you had received a card from 'Smelly James' your life could turn into a living hell and the shame of getting a card from someone you forgot to write one to still haunts me.

I know great Aunt Maude would just love a Christmas card from me, even if it was a hideous picture of robins in the snow with candles and holly in the background and she must think that I'm very rude and thoughtless for not sending them.  But I think sending Christmas cards is thoughtless.  The number of cards I receive that don't even have my name written inside is staggering and I'm always surprised by people who don't know their own children's names.  They write, "with love from Bill and family".

 Some people do make more effort.  Some make their own Christmas cards and we have one friend who always took a family photo to put onto his Christmas cards. Others add round robin letters that explain how Brian has just joined the army, Amy has just been accepted to the Royal Ballet school and how happy they all are since Fred left to set up home with his 21 year old mistress.  For some reason, though, I find these 'extras' pretentious.

A few years ago I found some very funny Christmas cards that I did give just to my very best friends who I thought would appreciate them.  It was a Charity card by Shelter called Santa's Full Monty.

I noticed that the Political leaders have tried to go personal this year with their Christmas cards.  David Cameron has a very strange picture with his wife and 2 Children, one of whom has his face painted in the Union flag.  I don't even think the children belong to him.

Ed Miliband has a black and white picture of his family that make him look as though he is stuck in the 1950's desperately trying to get out.  

I think Nick Clegg has the best card this year, drawn by his son. I like the idea of We Wish You No Homework.

The Queen's card look like she is just about to beat Philip around the head with her stick and the Corgi is wondering who ate all the mince pies.

Kate and William have yet to announce their official Christmas card.  Maybe, like me, they will be donating money to a good cause instead.