Trumpets are funny

Trumpets are funny.  Who can resist a sneaky giggle at their strange farting sound?

My father learnt the trumpet while I was growing up, as did our next door neighbour and they both played in a brass band in a damp, dusty smelling room above the funeral parlour. They were very keen and had lessons from a professional jazz trumpet player who used to arrive at our house with a briefcase that contained at least three bottles of cider.  We would go to a park and watch the band play before retiring to the pub for tales of life as a professional musician.


I have just given the youth orchestra's red trumpet to a lovely boy at school, who is just about as keen as my dad and neighbour were to learn to play.  In our weekly Friday assembly, the school band plays Happy Birthday and the rest of the children sing to all the children who have birthdays in the following week. As my new trumpet player doesn't know how to play many notes I suggested that he 'improvise'.  The look on the other teacher's faces this morning was a joy, as they listened to 'Happy Birthday to You Parp, Parp'


My new trumpet player had a lesson with my dad in the week and came into school this morning, very excited, to tell me all about it. He said, "Look!  I've learnt the tonguing thing" and promptly spat in my face!  I had to text Dad to thank him and was a bit taken back to receive his reply, "I really like that boy!"

As a flute player, I have spent many hours sitting in front of the trumpets in orchestras.  If you google trumpet jokes you will find such gems as, "How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb? 5! Only one to change it but 4 others to tell him how they could have done it better!"  Trumpeters are known for their arrogance and loudness.  Trumpet players I knew always liked a good laugh though and were always up for a trip to the pub at the end of a concert.  The only problem was that they usually had their feet on the back of my chair and had a can of larger and a well thumbed magazine ready during the concert.  In most orchestral pieces they only get to play a few notes but you can guarantee they play them louder and better than anyone else!