I know an old lady

 I know an old lady who swallowed a fly, now I know why.

She hired a bike to explore the valley floor of Yosemite National park. I have swallowed enough flies to consider going into hibernation. My protein intake is definitely up. You think, “I’ll just keep my mouth closed. You are meant to breathe through your nose unless you are swimming or doing certain yoga breaths. Just breathe like a normal person,” then the Long Suffering Husband asks a direction related question and you have no option but to eat another couple of flying bugs. 

Apart from the flies I can thoroughly recommend it. The wow factor goes up a notch. 

After, we went on a bear discovery walk. (To learn about them not see them). They estimate there are 300-500 bears over the whole of Yosemite (747956 acres).

Ranger Will, who seemed a little lost without a surfboard told us that bears hibernate once they’ve eaten enough. A little girl told him about the time she saw a bear and he said, “Cool. Gnarly dude!” The LSH couldn’t stop saying ‘gnarly’ after that and I fear it may become his favourite word, which might push me into wishing to be a bear even more. They are solitary creatures who live alone, spending 20 hours a day foraging.  Berries are their favourites but quite like an ant or several. They only consider flies when preparing to sleep for the winter. This is a great holiday but the idea of being on my own and sleeping for the winter is appealing.

The downside to being a bear in Yosemite is if you find a good source of food the humans will catch you, give you an earring, call you something stupid like purple 12 and take you miles from where you found the good food. Bears worked out that the best way to get food from humans was to scare them into dropping it. Now the park has a motto: Scare the bear. How the tables have turned!

Our final adventure in Yosemite was to scare ourselves. We drove up to the top of the world (Glacier Point). 

I know an old lady who swallowed some flies.