Sunday, 30 June 2024

He doesn’t need my help

A weird thing has happened.

I wrote down what people said at the hustings, without telling you about the mooing woman, which was the best bit of the evening. It was my longest blog. A marathon read, that was likely to make you sweat. Then people read it. More people read the blog than attended and then those who attended shared it and I have unwittingly become a John Whittingdale supporter. Or maybe JW has become a Julia-of-all-trades super-fan, as he was one of the sharers, suggesting that everyone should read it before polling day. 

I hadn’t seen it because, unsurprisingly, I haven’t made him a Facebook friend but when we went out to dinner with some mates they had and thought it was very funny.

Since I wrote down what was said, people who know me stop to tell me their voting intention and weirdly, they seem to think I’m going to be excited that long-standing Labour, Green or Lib Dem voters are going to vote for a Conservative. Whilst I can’t claim that he has been a terrible MP, have to concede that he works hard in his constituency and grudgingly admit that it would probably be bad for democracy if the seventh safest opposition seat was lost to the governing party, I can’t help reflect on the idea of whether he needs my help.

The truth is, he doesn’t. He’s a shoe-in. 

And if there was any worry for him they’ve even changed the boundary, taking some of Chelmsford to compensate for the bit of Maldon they gave to Priti Patel to secure her quite recently formed Witham seat.



That’s not a constituency with a majority of left-leaning voters. 

In fact, at the last election he won 72% of the vote with the left  being split (Labour 12%, Lib Dem 12%, Green 4%). I’m assuming that he’s worried about some of his votes going to the bonkers woman from the Reform party but even when UKIP fielded a half-decent candidate in 2015 she only took 17% of the vote and he still won 60.9% This constituency has a 60-70% turnout, so even if the non-voters all turn up and plump for the same party on the left and he loses 12% of his supporters, he still has nothing to worry about. 

‘So, what’s the point of me voting Labour, Lib Dem or Green?’ you ask.

The point is that he does look at it. If he attracts some of the left-leaning voters then we send the message that we like what his government did. If more people vote, ideologically against him then he might have to stop and reflect on the fact that if his government hadn’t had austerity and put a ban on capital spending in schools and hospitals (which he voted for) then he might not need to be saving St Peter’s now. 

Whatever happens at least it will all be over by Friday and we can go back to not caring about politics. 

Tuesday, 25 June 2024

Hustings (Long read)

 Hustings is such a great word, isn’t it? Possibly not so good that its etymology would wake you up at 3am but you are not me and don’t know how to live. Just in case you were wondering, it is derived from Old Norse and means house thing - a household assembly led by a leader and was adopted into old English and used, later to describe the platform the Lord Mayor of London and his Aldermen sat on. Eventually, this morphed to mean the temporary platform on which election candidates stood and is now only used as a public meeting where election candidates can talk to the public to gain their vote. Although I am thinking of reinstating the word for family meetings to talk about the loading of the dishwasher (I don't actually have a dishwasher, so I am, as usual, talking rubbish)

Because I know how to live and like to share I’m going to tell you about our date night. The Long Suffering Husband  and I had been looking forward to the hustings, organised by Churches Together in Maldon. It was a beautiful evening and the LSH walked up to town together. We enjoy going to the hustings because it makes us feel young and an evening 'fart-walk' is always useful at our age. 

It became apparent quite quickly that we are catching up with the age of people who enjoy these events and from above you wouldn't spot us in the sea of grey hair. We like to think were still in the bottom half of the age average, although a woman who resembled a turtle did laugh heartily when the LSH interrupted her conversation with a retired vicar.

'There's no young people here,' one of them said, to which the LSH whipped his neck round and said, 'I'm young!'

The laughter might have been cruel but I could see her point.

The evening was chaired by the trumpet playing vicar of the URC (that’s probably a niche piece of information that you don’t need. She didn’t play the trumpet at the event but that’s how I know her.) She was ably assisted by the man (Captain?) from the Salvation Army. The Maldon candidates arrived from the back room, where no doubt, they’d discussed the pictures of the old vicars that are on the wall, before finding their seat at a long table that had been decked with rather lovely green gingham tablecloths. 



From left to right they were, Simon Burwood (Liberal Democrat), Isobel Doubleday (Green Party), John Whittingdale (Conservative), Onike Gollo (Labour) and Pamela Walford (Reform). The average age of about 60 was only brought to such a level by the Labour candidate.

Everything in italics is a verbatim transcript of the event.

The chair opened the event, introducing John Doyle from the Salvation Army and reminded everyone that they were in a church and should be respectful. She said that questions had been submitted online and if there was time, after they had been answered they would open up to questions from the floor. She then asked the candidates to introduce themselves and explained that the order in which all questions were answered had been predetermined by picking names from a hat.

JW: Thank you for coming and thank you to Churches in Maldon Together for organising this.  I have been the MP for a very long time. (He didn't say how long but it is 32 years in case he's forgotten) It has been a great privilege to represent you in parliament.  I live in Maldon.  The main part of my job and the greatest pleasure has been to represent constituents and work on behalf of them. I have had a number of jobs within government, including culture secretary and most recently secretary of state for media, tourism and creative industries but my principle job is being available to my constituents.

ID: I have lived in Maldon for 50 years. I was a primary school teacher for many years. I spent a long time at Maylandsea primary and then at Great Totham. I still work with young people as I run a Sunday Club at the church in my village where I am a reader and am qualified to take services.  I am a mother and a grandmother. Family life, health and wellbeing of people are my main interests. I have never done anything like this before but I would be proud to speak on behalf of the constituency of Maldon.

SB: Like Isobel this is also my first time standing and I'm not going to lie, this is a little daunting. (laughter) I live in Heybridge where I am a local councillor and a parish councillor. I was also elected to Maldon District Council and I am a member of the Rotary.  I am actually the current president so, (looks around), I don't think there are any children here but if you see Santa coming round at Christmas, that's me! I also work with Cubs and Scouts and currently work in adult education. I am passionate about this place.

OG: (very softly spoken) I have lived in Essex all my working life. I am the mother of 2 small girls and I am missing their bedtime. I am a school Governor and I work as a corporate investigator holding FTSE100 companies to account. I am also an advisor at an Arts Gallery, so I also have interests in the arts. I also advice on a project that is concerned with children's mental health.

PW: Saved the best 'til last, obviously. (Awkward laughter from audience) I am your reform candidate. I haven't always been reform I used to be a conservative. The reason I am doing this is because at a meeting of the Borough council of Walton and Frinton a conservative person called me comrade and I said, 'Do not call me comrade. Do not use that word. I am not a comrade.'  

The first question was about St Peter's Hospital. 

JW: Like Sharon (who had sent in the question) I use St Peters. We'e been talking about a new hospital in Maldon for may years. There were suggestions for improving it, knocking it down, building a new hospital on the same site or a different site. Every time a solution seemed to have been found something came up to stop it and now they are talking about just closing it. I will do everything in my power to stop this happening. I have already had a debate in parliament about this issue and have managed to secure a guarantee that services will be retained  in the town.  We need our own community hospital. I have worked with St Peters and the groups involved and will continue to do so.

ID: St Peters is very important and also an iconic building. Whatever happens it's going to be very expensive. It's a wonderful place. I had my first child there 50 years ago.  People come into town to use it and it's a benefit to the town. Without it there would be more cars on the road as public transport to get to other hospitals doesn't exist.

SB: This is the one thing many people on the doorstep say to me. It is already starting to affect people. I was talking to one woman whose husband had a stroke and because he was in the rehabilitation unit at St Peters she was able to visit him every day but she said if it had been a  few months later he would have been transferred to the unit at Brentwood and she wouldn't have been able to see him at all. I desperately want to see St Peter's saved.  It is a one site stop where you can have blood tests and physio in one session rather than spend days and days and days just to find a car parking space. My parents go to Broomfield Hospital a lot and they can spend hours just looking for a parking space.  It is imperative that we have services remain in Maldon.

OG: This is symbolic of what's happening to hospitals across the country. For Labour, healthcare services that are close to home are a priority. We've had 14 years of this under investment. The building at St \Peters is falling down in places and it is hard to know at this point if it can be saved but I applaud the efforts of everyone that is working so hard on this. We need to learn the lessons of the past so that we make timely repairs and save buildings for the future.

PW: I'm surprised it's gone on this long. Surely it should have been sorted out before. It's like the beating heart of the hospital.  It's where you go to stroke ... a baby. You haven't got to travel. You've got a car park nearby. I'm amazed it's still going on. (I might need to learn shorthand. There must be some words missing)

The second question. How would your party ensure that despite the rapidly growing population and 14 years of underfunding they can save the NHS?

ID:  The NHS is broken and needs a shot in the arm. Doctors and nurses are dispirited and overworked and not given enough time to support the needs of the local population. Errr. Yes...Ermm. I'll leave it there.

SB: This constituency isn't just Maldon town. It includes parts of Chelmsford and goes all the way out to Stock. We need to plan for the future. Burnham is still 40 mins. away down the Burnham bends.  We need to prioritise getting more doctors. we must have access to more GPs. The NHS as a whole, currently, is not fit for purpose. The Lib Dems have a policy to refund the NHS and social care.

OG: The NHS is personal to me. My mum is a doctor (The LSH whispered, 'Was her Dad a toolmaker?' - Oh we do love a political joke) We need to accept where it is. It is going to take time to put right. One of the first things Labour will do, on day one, is send teams in to look at how things can be done more effectively.  People will be able to book more appointments on evenings and weekends.  It will take time. It took 14 years to get here but on day one we will be working on it.  The NHS needs to be reformed for complex health needs of people 

PW: The tragedy is that it will cost money.  As you know I live in Frinton but in Frinton the waiting list is 6 years because they can't get funding but it has to be done.

JW: There are many underlying factors. Our area is growing rapidly, putting huge pressure on primary care needs.  I'm a patient at Longfield and there are things we are trying to do. I meet with the staff there and at Blackwater regularly. We do need more doctors.  The new Medical school at Anglia Ruskin should help. We hope that doctors trained there will want to stay. Maldon is a wonderful place to live but we do have difficulty recruiting doctors.  The current state of both practices is poor.  It is also a case of dealing with the growing demand.

Question:  Social Care is a postcode lottery.  How will you make sure it is equitable?

SB: You will have seen the video of Ed Davy, our leader, and will know that he is a carer for his own son, so this is a priority for us.  There are two strands to social care, The professional care in a setting and less formal care at home. Both are vitally important. We are committed to recognition of carers, giving them £2 an hour higher than they are currently on.  People who care from home are important and we want to bring in respite care for home carers.

OG: Social care is really important. So often, we see that people who have served their country are left in old age in places where their care means that they lack dignity. Labour will put in National Care Standards.  There is currently a large migrant workforce giving that care. We need living wages and consistent standards rather than pockets of excellence.

PW: I myself have been a carer and you do need a break but we must not forget the service people who come back and I will fight for them.

JW: This is one of the biggest challenges to face the country and one that any government will have to work hard to solve.  Living longer is a great thing but it costs a lot of money/ Currently 80% of Essex County Council's budget goes on social care and that is rising. We need to keep people at home as long as possible, not only because it's (laughs) cheaper but also because it gives people more dignity. In the short term we need to fund it. In the long term we need to look at other things. It's a lottery whether you will need care and how much you might need. A long slow debilitating illness like Parkinson's may require more. I would suggest looking into personal insurance. This is such a big issue that it shouldn't be a party political football. It is something that all countries need to solve.

ID: Not only elderly care. We are an aging population with a reducing birth rate. It is going to be very expensive. Care needs care.

Question: The cost of having a child in school is expensive with uniform costs and the costs of trips. It was £15 per child from Heybridge to Maldon. What are you going to do about it?

OG: The cost of living is too much and Labour are focused on repairing the economy.....

We will remove VAT exemption on private schools and put that into state schools. Fundamentally it's about rebuilding the economy. We currently have the highest tax burden on working people and it's unsustainable.  We need to stir growth, increase investments in the country, keeping income tax the same. With the removal of non-dom status and tax loopholes there will be more money to spend.

PW: Reform will not reduce child benefit child will have benefit. I went to private school and my mother worked hard to send me there. As a parent you always do the best for your child and to punish a parent for wanting the best for their child is wrong.

JW: We need to bear in mind what we have been through. Covid, war in Ukraine, which sent the energy prices soaring. Cost of living has gone up. The government has tried to help people during Covid, energy caps. It won't help to punish private schools. I work with the very good private schools in my constituency and they all tell me they won't survive this (Watch this space - I bet they do) which will only put more pressure on state schools.

ID: Every local primary school should be the best so parents wouldn't need private schools. The cost of living is a problem. Schools do support parents who can't afford trips etc.  (ground to a stuttering halt)

SB: The cost of living is affecting us all but the question is about schools and it's about having our lives enriched. We need to look at how we can fund our childcare. We would increase costs per head per child to the school and this is fully costed in our budget.. These are the priorities for Lib Dems. NHS, Social Services and Education. If there are any music fans here then I will just say Children are our Future. 

The LSH is now doing his Whitney Houston impression.

Question: People on the breadline are struggling. Universal Credit payments should be reformed what is you party's policy on that?

PW: The most dreadful thing is even if you work you are on the breadline. I'm embarrassed to think that's happening. What would I do? I'd make sure people were paid and go out to work so we didn't need foodbanks. A lot of people go to foodbanks who don't need to go  [sharp intake of breath and murmurs of shame from audience] People who need food aren't getting it because people who don't need it are taking it and that's terrible.

JW: The greatest help is employment. We have created 4million jobs and have low unemployment rate but I worry about the people who are choosing not to work and who remove themselves from the jobseekers statistics..  Of course we need to spend more on supporting them. The government has a role as does the voluntary sector. (Praised the great work of Salvation Army, particularly during pandemic).  I do think we need to look at Universal Credit, which doesn't seem to be fit for purpose but we also need to help people get jobs

ID: Work is very important but the other aspect is rent. People shouldn't have to pay so much of their income on rent. The Green party will get people working on green projects and...Oh...I'm sorry I'm not very good at this.

Oh bless her, I thought. What an awful position to find yourself in.

SB: The Lib Dems would get rid of the 2 child cap. It is affecting so many families. It's about the things that are making money go further. Cost of living. I am embarrassed that in this country and in Maldon that there are food banks, It's not good enough.

OG: I think it's in the name Great Britain and it's a great shame that we are poorer than our French neighbours. Labour is committed to reform of the benefits system. We need to look at the details but we will start from a place with a government that actually cares and doesn't put the wealthy above the common man. We want to put in a government that is in service to the people so they don't feel disenfranchised.  A foodbank is not a success story, it's a failure of government.

Question: There is such a lack of affordable houses and social housing. How can I hope to stay in this town?

JW: I have a surgery every Friday and most of the issues are to do with housing. One answer is to build more homes. That will help to relieve the pressure but we need to manage them with proper infrastructure.

ID: Once of the problems is that houses that are built aren't actually affordable. It is down to the developers. An affordable house is 20% less than the going rate and here that is just not affordable.  Young people can't afford to rent or buy and end up sofa surfing. Developers should be kept to build houses that are needed, rather than what will make them the most profit.  Social housing is to be included without a right to buy which takes stock from the market. 

SB: On the doorstep it is parents who are worried about their older children living with them forever. Here a 5 bed new home costs £752,000. That isn't affordable. Infrastructure is needed. LibDems have a plan to build 380,000 new homes with 150,000 social houses per year. This is going to cost money. We will give local people the chance to discuss where small pockets of social housing should be - brownfield sites, close to town. etc

OG: Housing does come up on the doorsteps. Developers have been allowed and enabled to renege on deals. We need houses but that needs to go hand in hand with infrastructure. We will put in government backed schemes to help young people buy homes. Communities will be involved in decisions on where homes are built. Planning regulations need to be changed. I understand the tension but new developments help the economy. It brings people in to live and work.

PW: We always go in circles. Foodbanks and now we are talking about houses. How they will get homes. There's even a waiting list for the vets. When these people move in they've got families where will they go?

Question: I fell over on an uneven path recently and there are potholes everywhere. What are you going to do to make sure paths and roads are safe for use?

ID: Pot holes are a real problem. Local authorities outsource a lot of the work. They do a good job when they do it but the money doesn't seem to be there - it will be money - money will be needed. The Green Party have a plan to tax the very wealthy. The gap between the rich and poor is huge and that is growing. People with enormous amount of money could be taxed and with that money roads will be improved.

SB: The roads come under Essex County Council authority. It's their responsibility at the moment they don't have any money. When you ring them to notify them of something that needs fixing they say it will go on the list. Someone needs to invent a tarmac that doesn't get holes in it.  We need to have the money or maybe we need to get the Romans back.  (The LSH has launched into the what have the Romans ever done for us sketch) We need to give more money to local councils but if we do it will probably go on social care.

OG: I think the issue of the state of our roads is really quite sad. We will commit to improving one million pot holes a year. We will save money by not agreeing to every by-pass that isn't necessary. Insurance - damages to cars. Dog mess on the streets. (what did I miss? Did the questioner slip on dog poo?) People here are very house proud. It does come down to money.

PW: Pot holes goes on and it gets worse and worse. People pick up dog poo and put it in a bag and hang it on trees. If you fall over you wouldn't even be able to go to your local hospital because St Peter's is closing (General laughter from audience and muttering about not being an A&E hospital)

Question: My wife relies on public transport for the school run. What are you going to do to ensure public transport is fit for purpose? The chair said that there had been lots of questions about public transport.

SB: My daughter went to college in Colchester and she chose to do that but the bus was very expensive. Many families decisions are made by what they can afford. One of my roles is on the bus users group. Lib Dems will look at funding for rural transport links.

OG: Under the conservatives transport systems have been fragmented. Labour have been trialling things with our mayors and more devolution from Westminster is - you need to know where you need to go and local people can make those decisions.

PW: I've used local buses and I've been impressed. To keep buses on the road is very very good.

JW: A lot of people use trains to go into London from this constituency. I'm sure you know that we are getting a new train station at Springfield which will ease a lot of pressure, not having to go into Chelmsford. Locally, in terms of buses we have First Bus, which is a private company but ECC subsidise services that are unviable.  In this area we have a demand bus service, which has been groundbreaking - Dengie Dart. That's working quite well. We have to be realistic. There are many benefits to living in a rural location but if you choose to live in a remote area it's the trade you make.

ID: Public transport is a huge area that needs dealing with. Buses are few and far between. That does need improvement.

Question: Solomon aged 8: The environment is changing how will you protect the animals and the planet.

OG: Protect animals - reduce badger culling and fox hunting. Be good neighbours to our animals. Remove animal testing. We are going to set up Global British Energy to secure our energy needs and ensure clean green energy, which will provide jobs too. Oil and gas will remain as part of that transition but we will work towards.. We will make sure our financial services  are more green and will focus on education and becoming a world leader influencing people to take care of our planet now and forever.

PW: Interesting question Solomon, Well done. The wind turbines haven't been very successful. What happens to the car batteries? I still don't know. (The LSH is giving me a long explanation of how batteries are recycled) I believe the cars were a good idea at the start. I'm not so sure now. (There is a lot of laughter now, every time this woman speaks)

JW: It's a huge issue. One that every government will have to address. Electric cars and wind farms are the start. Wind farms have been successful, actually. I've always been a supporter of nuclear power, which is green. We are investing in nuclear power. We lead the way, It is essential that we tackle this.

ID: Solar and wind power is the way forward. No more licences for gas and oil. It's not just energy and power. It is also land use. If one eats less meat it would help. If you eat vegetables it takes one patch of land but for meat it's two patches of land. If you want wildlife to survive then eating less meat is an easy way.

SB: 8 years old fantastic! Well done Solomon. Getting outside is very important. Walking the dog chatting having picnics. We need to maintain areas of greeness around. Lib Dems will plant more trees, stop burning of heathers, stop dumping sewage in rivers and make a blue corridor system. There are so many issues regarding sewage.

Question: I missed the question but it was something about childcare.

PW: My mother was a Norland Nanny but my daughter had to put her daughter in a nursery when she was doing her degree. A lot of grandparents fill in. But you need more money. Reform - family allowance will not be stopped.

JW: I believe parents should have the choice. Some mothers will want to stay at home (Feminist hackles are rising from me and the LSH) We have sought to bring in free nursery places. I speak to many nurseries and they struggle with the quite frankly draconian bureaucratic regulations. There is more to do 

ID: Childcare is a huge issue. Even if a mother (Oh for God's sake, what is wrong with these people?) is not going out to work a child needs to spend time with other children.

SD: This is not a new question. My child is 29. During the summer holidays all my wife's wages went on childcare so that she could keep her job. (Steam is rising from my ears) We would increase childcare to 10 hours a week so mothers can go back to work. 

OG: It's a story as old as the hills. It' s sad that in the main it's women that bear the the brunt of this. Leaving aside the biology there are also economic reasons. We will look at the gender pay gap. Women's work needs to be valued and paid equally. We also need to recognise the value of that work. The free hours at nursery will increase under Labour and the number of nurseries will increase.  We will also start free breakfast clubs for when children start school which will have the added benefit of giving children the best start.

Questions from the floor.

1. Very angry woman: This is to John She was reminded that the question was for all the panel but refused to be persuaded.

Because of D-Day and veterans and Rishi Sunak's unpatriotic stance of not being at the event. I wonder how you personally feel about that and the betting crisis

JW: I guess that is a question for me then. First to say D-Day was important and I was delighted to be at the beacon lighting at the Prom which was a very moving event. Rishi Sunak did attend some of the events but now realises it was a mistake to leave early. I agree with that. To say it was unpatriotic is unfair but it sent the wrong message. As far as the betting scandal goes, I'm staggered and confused. I was in parliament and had no idea. I actually went around telling people it definitely wouldn't be before the summer break.

The woman countered by shouting at him to answer the question and saying it was typical of 'you Tories' and shouting, 'You have lost my vote!' The audience decided that she was rude.

2. Youngish man: An environmental question. What are you going to do to ensure biodiversity?

OG: The rivers: Anglian water had 591 sewage spills that's 5098 hours of filth spilled into our rivers. We would hold them to account if they want to get their bonuses. Make it tangible and not something they can  not ignore.

SB: Doubling down on policy. Double number of species . Set meaningful targets. It's difficult when something is lost. We need expertise. I just see a tree and say, 'That's a tree.'

PW: It's dreadful you can't swim in the sea now and people are getting big bonuses.

ID: Farming is an issue. Farmers are encouraged to make space for wildlife. If wildlife is given the opportunity it will come back (I was hoping she'd talk about beavers for the comedy value but instead she waffled on about turtle doves)

JW: River quality. We now measure it. Ten years ago we only measured 7%. Fergal Sharkey. Anglian Water are investing. Farmers - reward them for environmental stewardship. Brexit has helped this. (In response to snorts) No I'm serious these are things we couldn't do under the EU. and Brexit has allowed us to do that.

Question: HS2 is the elephant in the room. An eyewatering amount of billions of pounds on a project that will never be completed and we can't even fix a few potholes.

ID: Why, if it was to help the north did they start building it in London? (Person in front of me: They had to start it somewhere)  It was supposed to improve transport links in the North of England but government is so London centric they can't think past the end of their nose.

JW: If I had to choose one of the elephants in the room we would be talking about HS2 wouldn't have been top of my list. The truth is the costs became prohibitive. There will be benefits but at the moment we just can't afford it.

OG: If there's been a running theme it's been about money and you are right it's about wastage. We will form project teams so that in the future we are not so cavalier with the public's money.

PW: A vanity project that hasn't worked.

SB: I'm broadly in favour of HS2 but it needs to be kept in check to make sure it doesn't spiral any more.

Question: Acute wards and money isn't the answer are you brave enough to change the NHS?

JW: Absolutely right. We put money in every year. We've never spent less on the NHS and with an ever rising population demand is rising. Even Wes Streeting has said this. I'd love for it to be taken out of politics but in an election campaign we have to be realistic and say it's not going to be.

ID: Taking adversarial politics out of it would be so good for so many things. Health can also be improved by lifestyle changes and NHS should push that too.

OG: Great question. The NHS needs reform. The world has changed for example when the NHS was set up there was very little awareness of mental health. There does need to be more in the space of preventative aspects. Also technology eg scanner. A service that still uses pagers and faxes isn't fit for purpose.

PW: That proves that the NHS is part of broken Britain

Question: I don't know who I'm going to vote for. You are my voice at Westminster. If you could do one thing and one thing only what would you do for Maldon.

SB: Start with St Peters

ID: For Maldon? St Peters

JW: You're going to get the same answer. The great thing about being an MP is that you can raise it. I've already brought the issue to a debate and if you re-elect me I will carry on whoever is in government.

OG: For me, the problem of St Peters is exacerbated by the growth of the population and there being less infrastructure and that is what I would focus on. If I were your member of parliament my job would be to speak for the people of Maldon.

PW: It's a very good question. I would move from Frinton and be the voice of Maldon. Beyond that as everyone it would be St Peters.

Question: A Brexit question.

SB- I wasn't keen to come out of the EU but we don't want to go back but work on building better relationships with our neighbours, including reinstating things like the Erasmus scheme.

ID: I endorse all of that. I was going to mention Erasmus. What a loss.

JW: I supported Brexit and Maldon was in favour of Brexit. We have already seen some benefits but we need better connections with Europe. I would advocate rejoining the Horizon programme. (The LSH says something about the Post Office Computer system)

OG: We won't reverse Brexit. We can learn and share a lot. The elephant in the room is immigration. We would set up a border security council and work with our European neighbours.

PW: They still control us, the French. They do. With fishing and stuff. As for the immigrants. It's got to be more controlled. One in, one out and that's all fair.

It was good to end the evening on a belly laugh.

We walked home, hoping to get chips and sit in the prom for a bit watching the sunset but all the chip shops had closed. That would have been the perfect date night. When will the politicians deal with the early closure of chip shops and stop assuming that people who have money work harder than those who don't?

Monday, 24 June 2024

Election Thoughts

 I’m such a suspicious person that I’m sure they are doing it on purpose.

The betting on the date of the election scandal rolls on. At least 4 people from the Conservative Party and one policeman, who was working as a protection officer have been identified by the betting commission. The police officer has been suspended but ‘no action will be taken’ regarding the MPs until after the enquiry and, conveniently, they say, the betting commission have told them they can't talk about it. 

Now, call me naive but no one can really be that bad at politics during an election campaign, can they? 

 But what if the only way of winning an election was to dupe the voting public into thinking that the other party are going to win every seat so that if you want the current government out then you don’t need to bother to vote? They wouldn’t do that would they? 

Whatever you want to happen there will be some Conservative MPs and this is no time for complacency. These dodgy tactics have arisen because since Nigel Farrage (or Farridge if you are from Essex because he says his name rhymes with garage) there are now two credible parties on the right compared to the four on the left. This balance has spooked them. It used to be one against four.

The Daily Mail are on board with this tactic and have gone with a headline that warns against the disaster of a Starmer super majority. The splash talks about how a wild imbalance threatens the democracy of the country, which they didn’t comment on in 2019. 

However, the reform party are using this as a selling point, explaining that by voting for them people can destroy the conservatives majority. 



I’m expecting the Prime Minister’s next comment to be some kind of Brechtian twist where he suggests that the government dissolves the people and elects some new ones. 

It all feels quite surreal at this stage of the election campaign. 

The Long Suffering Husband and I planning to go to our local election hustings tonight. It’s a safe Conservative seat in a place that voted for Brexit, with a long standing MP who lives in the town and works quite hard and is being challenged by Reform in a way that from the posters might make you think they have support until you look more closely and see how they have been annotated. Labour is the party that is second in the polls, which always surprises me, as there are never any Labour posters. We are looking forward to some lively debate. 

Please don’t tell me that I don’t know how to have a good time. 

Wednesday, 19 June 2024

Beer Donkeys


 There’s nothing I enjoy more than a scroll through the reels of social media.

I’m not quite sure how our preferred televisual entertainment has been reduced to 30 second clips but there are times when it really suits my brain. In those moments, where I have nothing left; unable to focus on a book, or a whole binge-watch of a series then those clips are a lifesaver.

I come home from a hard day at the chalk face and … Whoops. Showing my age. I mean, I come home from a hard day at the interactive whiteboard and … I do mean that because I haven’t been updated to a new telly-screen … I flop on the sofa, unable to form words, phone in hand and I scroll mindlessly. 

Sometimes you have to stop and appreciate these wondrous times we live in. In days of old, your post-work-flop-experience was governed by whatever was on the BBC. Monday night: cold meat and chips and Panorama. Now, your non-thinking time is personalised, tailored to whatever is going on in your life. 

My daughter got engaged and my little phone seems very excited about it. 



Last night it spammed me with beer donkeys. Who knew? At a wedding you can have Alpacas as groomsmen or donkeys with little crates on their backs wandering around the wedding party, offering ice cold Peroni. You could even have a penguin ring-bearer. 

My daughter didn’t reply when I texted her about beer donkeys, so I expect it’s not on her dream-wedding list. It’s a shame. They did look cute. Maybe I could persuade her to have Prosecco Highland cow babies instead.

Anyway, this blog, is my tired brain’s way of congratulating my lovely daughter and future son-in-law and to warn them that I am here for the odd and random wedding suggestions. (I’m still holding out for an ‘introverts corner’ with books scrabble and maybe a dog)

Wednesday, 12 June 2024

Betting on going

 I know I’m a big softy but I’m genuinely worried for the Prime Minister. Things have got so bad for him that while watching the debate, the Long Suffering Husband, who loves an underdog, considered voting for him.

“I like him,” he said, with a completely straight face.

It was an appalling TV performance. He looked defeated and depressed but the LSH was being completely serious. 

“I mean, what can he do? It’s all such a mess. I feel sorry for him.”

I might have over-reacted and shouted something about it being a mess of his own creating, which was not only grammatically incoherent but also quite loud for me.

But.

Journalist, Pippa Crerar, broke this story yesterday. 


I can’t help worrying that he is being held by a criminal gang who are forcing to throw the election in particular ways, so that people can make bets on how badly he’ll lose. Obviously, I wouldn’t suggest that he and his colleagues are applying hedge fund principles to an election to make themselves even richer. 

His recent tweets say it all.

True, they haven’t been very good at spending our money but I don’t know how to fund a health service.

I hope that includes insider trading

Unless we have a TV interview 

Weird!

I thought Sambas were musical bands

Because you are going to leave them on when you leave, like a stroppy teenager?


Also weird!

Asking for a friend.


Leaving.

Honestly, though. I really don’t have the energy for an election right now. I suspect that the Prime Minister feels the same. 

Friday, 7 June 2024

Kick a puppy day



 It’s two weeks since I predicted that the current Prime Minister wanted to lose the election so badly he would announce the reinvention of the Bermuda Triangle. 

In those two weeks, I’ve been ill. I had a half term cold that wiped me out, went back to school and lost my voice. The PM launched his campaign where the Titanic was built, stood under an exit sign, planted Conservative councillors to ask questions at a factory visit, got an aide to stand in front of a gurning woman, lied about £2000 - upsetting the civil servants, gave an election broadcast that included the international sign of distress of flying the uk flag upside down, stood in front of another sign that gave him Mickey Mouse ears, was photobombed by the Lib Dems in a small boat he couldn’t stop, left a D-day event early and with all the election debates, it has, frankly, been an awful time. Funny but awful . 

Debates make me angry. Not in the way you might think. I don’t get riled up in the way they hope we will, causing us to pick a side. No. I shout, ‘What are you doing? This isn’t you!’ at the TV. Something happens to politicians during an election campaign and that something is ugly. 

Very little of what politicians do involves shouting at each other. They all (yes, even the Conservatives but maybe not Farrage) took the job because they want to help people. They are all trying to make society work collectively. 

The day to day job involves very little shouting. Often. people from different parties work together, making policies, spending money and sharing ideas to make our lives better. That’s the aim. 

If you can keep that in mind, then watching the weekly shouting matches are fun. Thirty minutes of Prime Minister’s questions (PMQs) every Wednesday between 12 and 12.30 is an awful display of vitriolic testosterone that, taken in context, is enjoyable. Going to watch one live is on my retirement bucket list. Then there is a version on the BBC (which isn’t as good since Dimpledknees retired) that appeals to political nerds. The shouty hour is usually on after most sensible people are asleep and that’s the way it should be.

However, in the run up to an election the broadcasters decide that everyone wants to watch Fiona Bruce talk over people. (I wish she had stuck to antiques or the BBC had stuck with the antique DD). They show Question Time at 8pm, have panellists like Farrage and a poet who identifies as a duck because they know it will be a more entertaining shouting match. Awful. But people watch. 

Each channel hosts its own election debates. ITV got the leader’s debate. Rishi turned up at the last minute, causing Robert Peston to tweet, ‘Phew, he’s arrived!’ He was flustered and lying. Keir looked fed up, sighing and closing his eyes. There were no winners. 

Last night the BBC hosted a mass debate. The seven mass debaters (I do know how that sounds if you read it aloud) were from each party. Want to now vote SNP or the Welsh one that I can’t spell? You can’t. If you weren’t confused before, you are now. The woman who held the big pole at the Queen’s funeral was pure gall; spitting venomous bile throughout the studio that was so bad even she couldn’t stand the smell. Bizarrely, the Prime Minister, her boss, was also a target for her fury. It’s what happens when wild animals are backed into a corner and know they are about to die. None of this is edifying.

It worries me. 

‘See! Politicians are all the same. Can’t trust anyone. I’m not voting.’

That’s a problem.

It’s our society that we are allowing them to run. They work for us. We get to choose them. Vote. Vote for anyone. Really, I mean it. Even if you think your vote makes no difference, it does. You have participated. Between 50% and 80% of people vote in each constituency, so unless you are in the highest turnout area and the usual candidate has more than a 20% lead then your vote could change things. 

Sorry. I shouldn’t bang on at you about this. If you’ve read this far then you will vote because you are interested. 

There is another 4 weeks of this and I don’t think I can cope with anymore. They don’t even appear to get weekends off. So, while I’m sitting in my garden, reading my book, I expect the Prime Minister to keep going with his splendid campaign. The plans for this weekend include going to Waitrose to help the Boy Scouts pack shopping and asking them if Bob-a-blow job is still as popular as it was when he was at Winchester College. Then he’ll go and draw a cock and balls on the cenotaph followed by a spot of lunch at a homeless shelter, where he’ll ask how their sourdough starter is going and demand avocado and caviar. Finally, he’ll remember that it’s kick a puppy day. 

I’m also going to California in August but I’m going to allowed to come back.