Well, I’ll go to the foot of our stairs

 The giants are furious. Three major giant fights in as many days. Dudley, Eunice and now Franklin.

I don’t blame them. Have you seen the state of the country? 

Dudley was cross about Prince Andrew and so he threw all of his toys out of the pram in Scotland. That was his first mistake. Nobody was going to worry too much about a storm in Scotland.

So Eunice took over. The list of things to be furious about had grown and so she shook a few trees in the south. She was quite spectacularly furious. It was more than a few trees. She lifted the roof off the hotel I was staying at and dumped it on top of some chimneys. 

But due to the nature of us stupid non-giants we didn’t take that too seriously. The hotel closed the kitchen and still made beautiful breakfast from a bedroom and served it in the bar. Most people watched Big Plane TV on YouTube and a few brave souls/idiots had surf races on skateboards using Ikea bags. Did we listen to Eunice, though? 

Yesterday morning, the Prime Minister was interviewed by Sophie Raworth at the foot of the stairs, smirking and refusing to answer any questions. Then the Queen tested positive for Covid and sent the message that she would carry on working. 

Franklin just couldn’t contain his fury any longer. He shouted, “Well, I’ll go to the foot of our stairs!” and started to bellow enough to make the birds stay on the ground.  Not only did he blow things around but he also threw spears of ice in my face and cried so much that Dr Foster should definitely avoid Gloucester for a while. 

I really hope we take notice because the next one could be called Gertrude and as we all know, Gerty fights dirty.