I’m the first Prime Minister

 You watched the news. You saw the speech. You know the world we are living in.

Please congratulate me, for I am the first Prime Minister.

What?

How dare you challenge me. I am. I’m the first Prime Minister. I am because I say I am. Didn’t you hear me? I’ll repeat it three times in a row and then you’ll have to believe me. 

The ones that went before me? Theresa May, Gordon Brown and let’s not even talk about James Callaghan. No one wants to remember old prime ministers. It’s me. Me, me, me.

I’m the only Prime Minister.

This could be as true as anything else you see on the news or read in the newspapers (or their social media feeds) because it seems we have got to a place where reporting what someone says without correcting factual inaccuracies is the done thing. There’s just not enough characters for truth. So here we are and I’m the Prime Minister, which is a bugger because I’ve got quite a busy day already.