No one is really ready for Rishi.

 And so it begins.

A leadership election in the Conservative party has begun and if you thought that anything that went before was weird get yourself ready for batshit crazy. 

There are no consequences for those currently doing the job, so an Education Minister can wear bright yellow and flip the bird at the singing crowd. 

The right wing press start to gun for the Labour Party, who they describe as dangerous far left enemies of the people, when in fact, most are middle class ex-solicitors, lecturers, bankers or professional politicians (who knew that they wanted to help people and studied the mechanics of how to do that, often to PhD level). If you read the Darkly Nail yesterday, you would have thought that Kier Starmer got away with a wild party in lockdown. What actually happened was that Durham Police decided that the event was just eating something after a meeting and that Labour politicians don’t have to starve.

Serious contenders and distraction divas throw their hats in the ring. 

So far, Suella Braverman, Steve Baker and Rishi Sunak have said they will run. Rishi, with his enormous wealth and desire for power has launched a slightly too slick Twitter #cutnpaste campaign, which could be the end.

My money, however, is on Gove. I can’t believe that his sacking was the mistake that brought Johnson down. What if it was a carefully staged piece of theatre? They knew Boris’days were numbered from the moment partygate started. With 126 fines given, it was inevitable that he would go sooner or later, so Michael Gove fake-leaves his Daily Mail journalist wife and disappears for a while, so that everyone forgets that he was part of anything. Boris holds on for longer than is humanely possible. Then when he finally has to go he has a huge fight with Gove, effectively clearing him of any association. He calls him a snake, sacks him and Sarah (Mrs Gove) Vine writes a piece for the Mail giving all the gory details, illustrating the drama with her children jumping up and down on the sofa with excitement. 

The madness will continue for a while. Nadine Dorries will run interference until it comes down to Truss, Sunak, and Bandock. The Conservative party will be ready to choose but they won’t be sure. Two women and two coloured people and although they tick diversity boxes somehow none of this sits well with their traditional conservative values. This is the moment freshly laundered whiter than white Gove rides in to save the day. Boris’ spare in the whole ‘Brexit Project’. He gets chosen, moves back in with his wife and becomes the next PM.