Different kinds of anxiety

 The Long Suffering Husband and I are  anxious people, although we will both deny it. We have our anxiety firmly under control (although there was a period during the great elephant wars when mine was on the surface but we try not to mention that). We have our own ways of dealing with the things that make us scared and fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) they are completely different.

The LSH likes to talk about it and I prefer to pretend it’s perfectly fine unless I’m writing, when I give the impression that I’m the biggest basket case on the planet. He prefers not to write. I like to read to find solutions to things and he prefers people to tell him what to do. People telling me what to do makes me angry. In some ways we complement each other perfectly and in others we clash.

However, it is undeniable that we both worry about things that probably don’t need to be worried about. 

We have a little half term break planned. We are going to walk a little bit of the Thames path. Not for charity or any laudable reason. Not so far each day it breaks us. Not to prove how fit we are or that we are not slowly slipping into our later years, where we share a French Fancy and our house starts to smell of cabbage. We are going because it seems like a nice thing to do. A holiday. Not a staycation because we are going to stay in three different hotels. 

A holiday always makes anxious people a little worse. There are less things you can control. I mean, if keeping your sock drawer tidy helps you fool yourself into believing that you have some control over your life and death then just being away from those neatly folded undergarments can cause palpitations. 

With a holiday it can be difficult to know what to expect and if you don’t know then how can to prepare so that you can stay in control of every situation? The LSH likes to plan well in advance. He talks a lot, packs, repacks, collects things for every eventuality. He always takes more than he needs but we have never been anywhere (including New York, the city that never sleeps) without a torch and a first aid kit. I, on the other hand, prefer not to think about it. I stick my fingers in my ears and go, “La, la, la di dah.” I might, eventually, write a list but often I’ll just go any look at my tidy sock drawer and wonder why we put ourselves through the stress of holidays. This is why I always forget something, once having to buy knickers as my first job of the holiday.

This particular trip is causing a little bit of stress for both of us (although we will  deny it). The LSH has packed and repacked his rucksack twice and I have actually started a list early. It might be an easier trip for me because we have to carry everything with us, although it might be best if I don’t forget anything important.

Breathe.

Excuse me while I just go and look at my sock drawer.