GP

Do you remember when a little girl was on Saturday morning TV and she read out Grand Prix as grand pricks? It was one of those hilarious moments that gets repeated, probably to her constant humiliation (although maybe not because Melissa Wilkes is still an actress, even after Grange Hill). Anyway, I always think of that whenever I have to contact my GP surgery. There is always a rebellious voice in my head that says, “Well you know what GP stands for and it’s not Grand Prix! Haha Grand Pricks, that’s what it says here!”

I know it’s childish and you would probably argue that they are only doing their best but seriously, if that’s their best then they have to do better. I worry about the people who won’t keep fighting for what they need. Matt Hancock said yesterday that this crisis had shown him that GP appointments don’t need to be face to face, which I was surprised about. I thought it would have shown him just how woefully underfunded the health service is and how it is teetering on a knife edge, so that to deal with a new viral respiratory illness we had to drop everything else.  Cancer consultants who still don’t have their lists back up and running like normal are seriously concerned that we have a terrible amount of unnecessary death ahead of us but people still can’t get appointments with their GP.

I love that theIndependent has illustrated this headline with a picture of Matt Hancock demonstrating how much chance you have of getting through to our GP on the phone.

I say this ahead of a day when I am going to have to ring my surgery. 

The Long Suffering Husband has medication that he needs to take that is on a repeat prescription. He would love to be able to have an online consultation to review that medication but that’s not how it works. 

The prescription can’t be renewed until he has seen a GP in person. At that consultation he will be asked how he is (fine) and sent for a blood test to check that the levels are still right. Supposedly, they will look at the blood test when it comes back (after they’ve prescribed) and call him back if necessary. This has never happened, so I am assuming that would happen. 

So when he was down to the last month’s pills he contacted the pharmacy who told him that the repeat couldn’t be ordered because he needed a review. He rang the surgery. He sat in a telephone queue for half an hour and the receptionist told him he couldn’t book that day because there were no appointments and to try again. The next day was a Wednesday. He plays golf on a Wednesday but called on the way home. It was about lunchtime. He was in a telephone queue for 45 minutes. Eventually, the receptionist told him that all review appointments had gone and that he would have to ring back the following Wednesday because that is the only day review appointments are released. 

“But I can’t ring on Wednesday morning,” he said, wondering what would happen if he ran out of pills.

“You must be able to,” the receptionist said. “You will if you want an appointment.”

“But I can’t,” he said

“Someone else can ring for you,” she said.

He did try again yesterday, just in case the Wednesday information was wrong but it seems as though the appointments for medication review are released at 9am on a Wednesday and are gone by lunchtime.

So, he has gone to play golf and it’s down to me to try to get him an appointment.

I can’t guarantee I won’t be mumbling ‘grand pricks’ under my breath and googling what happens to someone if they stop taking his particular medication.

Wish me luck.