Dangerous Skills

“Did you see the telly this morning,” the lollipop man asked me gleefully.
“No. I don’t watch much TV and never in the morning,” I replied.
“Well you should have done. They were talking about you.”
I very much doubted that I had become the latest thing that enraged Piers Morgan but I did ask.
“Really?”
“You are going to get prosecuted. They are going to make it illegal because it’s dangerous.”
I was confused until he nodded towards my book.
“They’ve made walking a reading illegal?” I laughed. “I knew they’d get me somehow,” and I walked on quickly.

The lollipop man isn’t normally grumpy and people tell me his is a very nice man. I don’t really talk to him because I cross the road further up but I always lift my nose from my book, give him a warm smile and say, “Good morning.” I only see him on the days I’m a little bit late and never in the evening because teachers don’t generally work 9-3 . However, my newly practised skill bothers him.

He’s not alone. People find it pushes some primeval button. It provokes a reaction in them that seems a little out of place. Old people get cross. People say things like, “I saw this mad woman walking and reading and then I realised it was you,” or “That new skill of yours is both impressive and scary in equal measure.”

One of the books I read was Milkman. The main character says, “Often I would walk along reading books. I didn’t see anything wrong with this but it became something else to be added as further proof against me. ‘Reading-while-walking was definitely on the list.” . It’s set in Northern Ireland   during the ‘troubles’ and this walking and reading makes everyone more angry than they are about    any other awful thing that is happening.

Like Anna Burn’s character, I don’t see anything wrong with it. In a world full of things to really worry about, someone walking and reading shouldn’t get people quite so hot under the collar. When I told my family about the conversation with the lollipop man, they were worried for me.
“Is it true?” my daughter asked.
I have no idea, or interest in it’s veracity, although I do not see why reading and walking would be an offence. If you weren’t very good at it the person you are most likely to hurt is yourself. I explained this to the Long Suffering Husband. “I suppose you could walk into the road and cause an accident.”
“So could you, “ I told him indignantly. “If I’m clever enough to read and walk then I know to look before I cross the road.”

Maybe people don’t like it because it’s different.  It is much easier than you think it is, so if you’d  like to give it a go and make me appear normal I’d appreciate it and you never know, it might be the best thing you ever did.