Godwit

Godwit day. 

I'm not a bird expert.  I'm not an anything expert but birds are still following me around.  They are everywhere, judging me and making comments on my life. So, when faced with a large group of long legged, long billed wading birds I wasn't quite sure what they were.  Wading birds near us need long legs and long bills, so that they don't disappear completely into the mud and they can get the insects from the bottom. They could have been sandpipers or snipes but they had a red/brown body and black  and white stripey tail and wings.  Usually, they hang about in big groups but there is always one that is shunned by the crowd, going it alone, preferring it's own company, not joining in the general seaside chatter.  I was watching the lone bird, wondering why he chose to be on his own.

If you walk along the sea wall you can see these birds by the lakes at dusk.  They gather and shout at passing humans. The humans, in turn, try to photograph them.  Some humans have flash equipment: tripods, long lenses and light meters and stand still or sit in hides being quiet and thoughtful.  I keep walking, as I take photos on my automatic setting, chatting to the people who are taking it seriously.

"What are they?" I asked the young besandaled woman with knotty hair standing by her tripod.
"Oh, they're just godwits," she said, "but on the bank up there is a heron."
I looked through my camera and zoomed in, confessing that I probably wouldn't be able to see it.
The Long Suffering Husband laughed loud enough to frighten a few gulls into flight and said he thought I had lens envy.
The young woman looked very serious and said, "It's not all about size though is it?"
It was then I saw that she was with a man.  I could only see his camouflage trousers and that in his hand he had an enormous camera lens as the rest of him was obscured by her and the camera.
"Oh, I don't know, it helps."I looked up and walked on, catching the man with a full on wink.

It was only then that I realised that I knew him.  He was the ex-husband of a friend and he looked as if to say, "What has she been saying about me?"
The godwits changed from their general seaside noise to a very clear, "You're a twit. We are godwits but you're a twit."