Jeff

Yesterday the sky turned yellow and the sun went red and people rang The Sun newspaper to find out what was going on.  They reasoned that if anyone would know about the sun it would be The Sun. The birds freaked out; stopped singing or flying and sat in huddles wishing they had a Sun newspaper to call. I got a headache, the dog farted even more than usual and children acted more weird than normal.

The Sun really did have the best pictures, though

Their reply to any question I asked them was 'Jeff.'

"Do you like this piece of music?"
"Jeff."

"Have you practised?"
"Jeff."

"Can you play the G major scale?"
"Jeff can."

I knew there was something going on with the name Jeff, as last week we had done a composing task, turning a short phrase into morse code and then musical notation.  There were quite a lot of secret messages about Jeff.

"What is it about Jeff?" I asked.
"Don't you know?" they replied, "Jeff is just Jeff."
"OK.  I do know that," I said.
"But why are you all talking about him?"
"Jeff is awesome," they told me.
"Awesome?" I questioned. "He's alright but awesome is pushing it."
"Do you know Jeff?" they asked.
I had to confess that I'd known him for over thirty years.
"Is he the Jeff of all Jeffs?" they asked.
I wasn't sure.
"How can I find out if he's the Jeff of all Jeffs?"
"Ask Siri."
Siri thought she'd look it up on the web.
"That means she doesn't know," I told them, demonstrating my supreme knowledge of technology.
They shrugged.
"Who will be able to tell me about Jeff?"
"Oh, anyone."
"Really?  Anyone?  I'm someone and I don't know if the Jeff I know is the Jeff of all Jeffs and why you are talking about him."
"Well, anyone between the ages of eight and about twenty.  You are older than twenty, right?"
"Only just," I confessed, thinking that I couldn't even ask my children because they are over the hill too.

I continued to ask pupils about Jeff.  Some didn't know about him.  Then I asked someone who went to a different school.

"Oh, not any more," she said.  "Jeff is so last year.  It's all about Bob now."

Phew.  I don't know a Bob.