The big girl hardly ever comes home anymore......but that's okay because she never let me lick her ears anyway......the boy left last week and I got scared that he wouldn't come back (like the girl)......so I cried ...... and sat in his room looking at his bed.....but it was fine because he came back smelling of vodka and happy......
This time when the cases came out I got really scared because the LSH's and Her clothes went in, as well as the boy's.....She might leave me......I don't even like it when she goes in the bath or goes to work.....
But then my stuff went in the car and we drove for two days..........They kept saying I was going back to my roots but I think Cambridge is closer.....
Like I said, I'm really glad they brought me on holiday with them .....but holidays are terrifying. .... And Scotland is even more scary than the canal boat was.
Scotland is full of monsters.......It's my job to protect them....but there are so many more than the odd fly or pigeon we get at home........when we arrived it was exciting to see such a big garden.......the house was nice with big windows and they oohed and ahhed at how pretty it was.....She even smiled......
The I realised that it was my job to protect them....and there was so much more......
I paced around the room....saw off a few flies......then a wasp came in.......in the distance on the springy grass was the biggest seagull I've ever seen........it was a long way away and it still seemed huge but it was still in our garden......She took pictures, "It's an Icelandic Gull or maybe a Glaucus Gull, " she said........I thought she should just let me out to chase it away........
They took me for a walk to the edge of the water....I knew there were monsters in there.......even a little dog like me has heard of the Loch Ness Monster........the monster in this loch threw its water at my feet and I scuttled sideways and growled to show I wasn't scared......even though I was.
The shoreline was dotted with shiny, invisible jellyfish to sting paws if you were concentrating on the monster...or tongue if you tried to eat them.......little sand hoppers jumped up my nose when she turned over a pile of bladder wrack with her foot........she talked about lifting a big rock to see if there were crabs underneath......thank God she didn't......I had to chase crabs in Solva and they run funny.....
Back in the house and little tiny birds flitted around the windows...they watched, discussing whether they were house martins or swallows.......I tried to stay calm but they keep throwing themselves at the side of the house.....I might have hurt my leg a bit jumping from them...I looked out of the window and saw the dragon let out a big breath of smoke.
Then it was bedtime......I always sleep in my cage and they cover me up, so I'm safe and nothing can get me. My cage was in the living room......they went to bed.....but I could hear the monsters .....
I cried.....
Come and save me......there are monsters......I don't want to be on my own......
The LSH came out at 1am......he took me out......thought I needed a wee....I checked......there were smells.....all sorts of foreign monsters...causing danger.
I went back to bed.....but I couldn't settle....I tossed and turned....I smelt monsters and I could hear things......
I cried......
And cried.....
She got up and took me out....I didn't need to go out...I just wanted her to tell me it would be all right.
There were so many beasties outside....I could smell them....I put my nose under the rhododendron bush and a little one scuttled out....I chased it to the bins.....she told me to slow down because she didn't really want to be running round on the wet grass in her pjs at 3am but I couldn't.......it might escape. .....she shined her torch on it.......it was a wee timorous beastie.......probably a vole or a shrew, she said......
She let me check the whole of the garden.......we came back, damp and exhausted an hour or so later.....but I was shaking and didn't want to be left on my own again...She sat with me....I really do love her......and stroked my ears......
Bats threw themselves at the windows....she said it was alright....moths fluttered around the light on the porch and she said they couldn't hurt us......we sat.....calm....
Then it started again.......
Normally, I like a fridge.....they have good things in.....Sunday carrots.....dropped cheese shavings......and if I'm really lucky a curly bit of salami.......This fridge has a problem, though.......it takes ten short breaths in and then sighs......I pressed myself up against her leg to stop myself shaking and we listened together......it sighed.....I shook......it sighed.....then it stopped....suddenly....the fridge stopped breathing.....the fridge had died.....can you imagine what would happen if the fridge dies?????? No Sunday carrots.....I cried.......
She moved my cage into her room.....we slept, dreaming of monsters, timorous beasties, and the fridge of sighs.
Tonight, they have put my cage in the boy's room. I might be able to persuade him to sleep with the light on.
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