Qu is for Quissmass

When I was younger, I remember my mum saying that she blamed teachers for winding children up too early for Christmas.  I disagreed.  As I child, I was perfectly capable of winding myself up.  Christmas is just exciting and as soon as it gets cold children know it won't be long.

This morning it got cold and the children were excited.  I was wished, "Happy Christmas" by at least six children today and at that point I don't think I could have been accused of winding anyone up.  I had been woken in the middle of the night with a headache that just wouldn't shift and I was grumpy; "Bah Humbug," was my preferred reply.

It wasn't the best day to have a headache; my day for teaching songs to KS1 for their Nativity and knowing just how excited they already were wasn't going to help.  I knew they were over-excited when I watched a colleague write her starter sound on the board 'qu' and hear the children say, "Qu for Quissmas!"

Maybe I am responsible for winding them up too early but you can't learn ten songs in a week. This year's nativity is about an ordinary ox and I confess that it's not my favourite.  I'm struggling to get excited by the songs.  The Ordinary Ox song has the following lyrics:
"He's just an ordinary ox and he does an ordinary job he's  not a cow or a bull or a mule he's just an ordinary ox."
 One of the children asked me what an ox was.  I said that I thought it was a sort-of cow and the child said, "Well, why isn't he an ordinary cow, then?"
"Because a cow is female if it's a he then it would have to be a bull."
"Why isn't he an ordinary bull, then?"
"I don't know."
"Is a mule a type of cow?"
"No, it's a donkey, horse sort of animal."
"Oh, right."

Two faced Cow

Ox

The closest I'll ever I've get to Bull-ocks

Children can make you feel really stupid from time to time.

I asked my colleagues.  They didn't know.  They did know about Oxtail soup and we joked that our Ordinary Ox probably shouldn't have a tail and maybe could have a Heinz soup label in place of the missing tail.

Thankfully, there is the Internet and so I looked it up.  The shock! An ox is a non-breeding male cow, used for pulling carts etc.  To make it non-breeding, it has been castrated.  An ox without it's tail or it's bits!  I sent a message to my colleagues.

"I've just looked it up - an ox is a cast roasted bill"

I'm not very good at texting when I'm tired with a headache.
One colleague wondered if they put the testicles in the soup and the other said that she hated oxtail soup and as far as she was concerned it definitely tasted like b?£@!cks to her.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I had a memory that bovine bollocks are a delicacy.  I googled 'bull's testicles recipes' and found that the testicles are cut off the calf when it is branded and this makes him more docile, grow meatier and stronger but less aggressive.   The testicles are thrown in a bucket of water, peeled, washed, rolled in flour and pepper and fried in a pan.  They are considered to be quite a delicacy and dating back to Roman times were eaten as an aphrodisiac.  In some places, particularly Montana and Illinois the have a twice yearly 'Testicle Festival'  Being a huge Archers fan I think that Tony Archer would love to attend a testicle festival and would be happy to donate Otto's balls to the celebration, if Tony every recovers from being crushed by Otto, in what sounded like a scene from Jurassic park.

I have so much to tell the children if they ask again.