That's not good news. Whoever thinks that's good news is bonkers. That means periods forever. That means the possibily of pregnancy, FOREVER!!!. I can see the benefit for Dairy Cows but real women? No thank you.
They discussed it on morning television and the male presenters seemed to think that women would be glad. The female presenter seemed less sure but also was reluctant to say. She did say that it was difficult because no one liked talking about menopause. She's right about that. Last week a colleague made a joke about making a mistake by saying that she had her 'menopause head on today.' Everyone laughed, uncomfortably and a male colleague went green, grimaced and shuddered. I thought his reaction was a bit odd, what exactly was he picturing when he heard the M word? It was the same kind of joke that women make about 'baby brain' and PMT. Women blame our hormones. It's not always our hormones fault, sometimes we just make mistakes like men but we have wild, unpredictable hormones, which have to be useful for something.
I thought, "I'll talk about it. I have a blog. People need to know. Menopause is good."
The thing is, periods are a pain. Often literally. Sometimes they are a pain that is not relieved with drugs, wine, chocolate, rest,baths, exercise or hot water bottles. We try all those things but they don't really work. Sometimes they sneak up on you, as a surprise visitor, especially for birthdays, holidays, christmas, or any time when you don't want them to. They mean that a significant portion of your life is spent avoiding wearing white, just in case you suddenly do an impression of the Japanese flag. Before they arrive you can be even more irrational, moody, clumsy and tearful than usual. The only real use they have is informing you that you are not pregnant. Yesterday, Caitlin Moran, wrote this on twitter:
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She was probably talking about constitutional change following the Scottish Referendum or something but I can't help thinking, "Lucky her!" and anyway I suspect the weight loss is a consequence of the pre-menstrual bloating going away. Caitlin Moran is very funny and upfront about things that happen to women but I know she won't comment on menopause - not yet anyway, she's too young.
Not that menopause is about getting old. Getting old is an issue for women because we live in a crap society that undervalues women and the old and so women naturally are a bit wary of being older.
If you think about it, menopause is just the end of the one third of your life that nature has decided it would be a good time to have a baby and you could still have as many years left to live as you have lived already.
Fertility is an issue for some women, again, because we live in a crap society that undervalues women. Women with children are not taken seriously in the workplace and so there may be some women who think that still being fertile in their retirement years would be a good idea because then they could have a baby without it affecting their career. I just wonder how many men will want to have a baby at 65 or with a 65 year old woman in our crap society?
Menopause, which is the end of periods isn't the problem for most women, it's the transition into it. Those wild, unpredictable hormones get even more wild. In fact they are furious. They know that you don't need them any more and they rage and they are even more unpredictable. It's like being a teenage girl again without the stamina, boyfriends or new experiences.
Maybe, I'm judging the headline too harshly. Maybe it would be a very valuable treatment for women who want children but have gone into early menopause and I'm not against that idea. Maybe, the scientist is a woman who wants to help other women. I'd better check.
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No, Dr Aubrey De Grey is looking to re-grow ovaries to stop the ageing process. He talks of turning women on and off (like a lightbulb). He's one of the scientists I fear most: one who wants to make us live for ever.
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