Time Wasting

When you've got more time you waste more time.  I was really looking forward to these Summer holidays because I had a list of things I was going to do when I 'had more time' but now I'm wondering if it's time to go back to work because instead of doing all these things I'm procrastinating about doing them.  I'm very good at procrastinating generally but today I have taken things to a new level.

This morning I have become obsessed with finding out about MPs and their dogs.  This can't be a useful way to spend my time.  I started thinking about it because I saw a picture of Obama and his dog and remembered that the US presidents have dogs.

George Bush Jr had a Scottie dog, his dad had a Spaniel, Regan had a King Charles Spaniel, Clinton had a chocolate lab and Carter had a Boarder Collie.  UK Prime Ministers are not so known for their dogs.  Maybe it's not allowed because Downing Street has  resident cats:  Larry the Cat (who is very funny on Twitter) and Lara (who lives at Number 11 with George Osborne) who is also quite amusing.

These cats are not particularly nice about their bosses and I wonder if what British Politics needs is more dogs.  Dogs are always nice about their owners; they defend them from frogs and hedgehogs and keep cats from being mean about them on Twitter.

The only MP's dog I am able to recall is Roy Hattersley's Buster, who wrote some very funny diaries and got himself in trouble with the authorities for killing a goose in a London park, while Mr Hattersley was 'obsessing over' picking up Buster's poo.  So I started an Internet search for MPs' dogs.  I found lots of stories about dogs biting MPs and quite a lot about MPs getting upset about dog poo or responsible dog ownership but very few about MPs and their own dogs.  MPs seem to have a lot to say about dogs but don't seem to talk about owning them.  I was getting despondent.

I searched my own MP.  No dog. I decided to search his rivals in the next election for dog ownership to base my voting decision on.

Then I found something exciting.  Westminster Dog of the Year run by the Kennel Club.  http://www.thekennelclub.org.uk/events/westminster-dog-of-the-year/
The public can vote for their favourite dog.

2012 marked the twentieth year of the competition, which had 24 entries and was won by a rather cute Norfolk Terrier called Star with third place going to one of the few left-wing pooches, Gordon; a Rottweiler owned by Labour MP Lindsey Hoyle.  You couldn't make this stuff up.

Picture from The Guardian

Last year the competition was won by Noodle, a Cockerpoo belonging to Alan Duncan, MP for Rutland and Melton, who is the first openly gay cabinet minister.  Noodle made a campaign leaflet in which he suggested 'Ruff justice for criminals'.  You couldn't make it up. Alan Duncan made a failed attempt at the leadership and was scuppered by Larry the Cat. I did make that up - the bit about the cat I mean, not the attempt at leadership.

Picture from the Spectator

This year's competition has me intrigued.  Where have all the dogs gone?  There are only 11 candidates, with no Labour MPs' dogs included.  It doesn't fill me with much hope about the qualities of our MPs either.  The two female MPs haven't included a picture of their dog.  Don't they know that looks are everything in politics? Some MPs have failed to name their dog - surely no one will vote for a nameless dog? The MPs have been asked to describe their personality in 5 words, which most have failed at and we must make sure that none of these MPs ever become Chancellor of the Exchequer, as I'm sure counting to 5 must be a requirement of the job.

The following table shows the MPs their dogs and their 5 (*ahem) words.  It also shows my ability to procrastinate.

MP	Constituency	Dog Name	5 words
Andrew Mitchell	Sutton Coldfield	Scarlet	Loyal Sensitive Charismatic Pleasing Alert (5)
Caroline Spelman	Meriden	Rescue Dog	Friendly (1)
Claire Perry	Devizes	Rescue Dog	Loving Engaged Willing (3)
David Burrowes	Enfield Southgate	Cholmeley	Lovable Sociable Patient Gentle (4)
David Morris	Morelambe and Lunesdale	Patch	I am loyal loving protective senile and going blind (8)
Guto Bebb	Aberconwy	Rescue Dog	Intelligent Inquisitive Friendly Good with Children as I have 5 (10)
Lord Redesdale	Lib Dem Peer	George	Fun Loving Happy And Stupid (5)
Paul Burstow	Sutton and Cheam	Indy	I am a reformed rogue Bark Loyal Love food.  I am a good family dog too. (16)
Simon Reevell	Dewsbury	Cosmo	Lick Woof Lick Lick Lick (5)
Richard Ottawy	Croydon South	Roxy	Cheerful Friendly Mad About Mud (5)
Michael Gove	Surrey Heath	Snowy	Naughty Stubborn Greedy Gentle Loving Calm (6)