Return of the Prodigal

Many parents are collecting their children from their first term at University, full of excitement at getting their baby back. This initial joy could quite quickly be replaced by a whole host of other emotions, such as sadness, irritation, guilt and many more. 

This time last year I was one of those parents. This year I'm wiser and more prepared but some things have still surprised both of us. 

So if you are a parent whose 'favourite' child has returned or a student who was looking forward to re-entering the bosom of your family then here are some things you might have forgotten.

1. The house is much louder, chaotic and fuller with one more person in it.

2. Normal life has continued  during term time and everyone has been busy with their own lives. This doesn't stop when the prodigal returns and so they can feel bored, ignored and disgruntled and everyone else can't understand why their lives have become a little bit more complicated.

3. The person returning to the house has grown up. They have their own ways of doing things. They might cut potatoes for mash smaller than you would, stack the washing up wrong or put milk in their tea first instead of last.

4. The people who stayed at home didn't change very much. They haven't learnt that milk doesn't go in tea last. They haven't turned into the parents their friends have told them about, who magically conjure up food, provide clean washing and wash up after them.

5. There is more washing and ironing and it doesn't do itself.

6. Universities run on a different time zone, so nobody should be surprised when the house is noisy, light and busy at 6am or when there is still one person pacing the floor at 2am, wondering when the 'prinks' are going to start.

7. There will be new words in the house. The person bringing them in should exercise patience and understanding with those who simply don't understand what is meant by this new northern/southern/slang language. Rolling eyes out loud will be a regular feature from everyone in the house.

8. The heating will be on. The house will feel warm to the student but normal for those who haven't been away. Students should just enjoy this brief period of warmth without getting too used to it.

9. Problem sharing goes both ways. Parents will moan to the student about their colleagues and other family members and students will moan about their flat mates and other family members. This is normal. You've just forgotten.

10. You can't turn back time. That perfect Christmas with the wide-eyed three year old who wet him/herself with excitement on seeing Santa and parents who run themselves ragged to make sure Christmas is special has gone forever.

When remembering these things, though, it is also worth remembering that being together at Christmas is just perfect and you wouldn't change that for a second.