Move over Kevin, there's a new teenager in town.

I have turned into a teenager.  A parody of every comedy teenager there has ever been, on the history of the planet, ever, so there!

First there was the existential angst.  Then there was the refusal to clear up my stuff, "Why should I? I'll need it tomorrow.  If it bothers you that much you  do it!"

 Then today I had a full blown diva-strop.  With my Dad's voice ringing in my ears, "A bad workman blames their tools,"  I stomped around thinking, "I don't care.  I am a bad pianist I need the stuff to actually work.  I can make a pigs ear out of a sows purse, so if you give me a pigs ear you might just get half a trotter!"  I fumed and flounced and finally left the building muttering, "I'm going home. I don't need this!"  I didn't go home I tried to pull myself together and grow up a bit (not very successfully).

Afterwards, I went to the library and walked up and down the High Street looking for something to buy to make myself feel better, which would have been more effective with someone else's money  but I was determined to buy something that said, "You're worth it," and I don't mean shampoo.  Chocolate is still off limits because of my stupid voice, which is just stupid, stupid, stupid.  All the clothes shops had Summer stuff in, shoe shops were full of sandals and everything was designed for the 50 year old middle class woman. Then I met my daughter for a coffee, one shop was full, the other didn't have what I wanted on the menu so I said we would try a new one.  My indecision was beginning to annoy.  We sat down and ordered and after a while they came back to say the Lemon Drizzle Cake was off.  I huffed and puffed and chose again.  When the order arrived my peppermint tea was served in a bone china teapot, with cup and saucer and MILK!  Honestly, who has milk with peppermint tea? After a while I said, "I don't think I like it here."  My daughter shushed me, "Mum, you're being embarrassing " but I continued, "Actually, I'm too young for this whole stupid town.  I don't want to drink out of stupid china teacups, I don't want to wear dash tracksuits and comfortable sandals, I don't want large-print or audio books from the library.  There's nothing to do.  This place is so BORING.  I can't wait till I'm old enough to leave home!"

To anyone who had to deal with Julia the Teenager today I apologise - it's probably a phase.