Would you tell me?

There used to be some saying about your friends being prepared to tell you if your breath smelt.  It was probably an advert for toothpaste, mouthwash or even some dodgy Eighties perfume, like Tweed.

I particularly remember Tweed because I learnt the music from the advert on the piano.  It's the Shepherds song from Beethoven's Pasterole Symphony but I'm being distracted from my original thought.  Would anyone really tell you if you're breath smelt?  I doubt it.  They'd  tell everyone else.  They might buy you mouthwash for Christmas or offer you a polo but not actually say to your face, "By the way, has anyone ever told you that you stink!"  When I was pregnant with my first child I stopped seeing a friend because my heightened sense of smell and quick vomit reflex meant that I couldn't be near her garlicky breath without losing whatever food I had managed to eat (which wasn't too much due to the nausea).  It was just less embarrassing to lose touch with her than tell the truth.

It's probably a good thing that people don't tell the truth most of the time.  Those of us blessed to work with children are at the end of a very long school year and are all feeling a little tired and irritable.   Everyone is having whispered conversations, "Oh boy, they're really annoying me this week!"  If they  had those conversations with the person themselves, I wonder if it would be better or worse.  "Did you know that the way you file those papers really annoys me?"

Recently, I have sat through several concerts that haven't been great and then have been surprised at the number of lovely things that have been said about them.  Maybe I'm getting critical in my old age but the truth is more likely that people don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I have always thought that if I would like to know if a concert I was in charge of wasn't brilliant so that I could make the next one better but I don't have the courage to say anything to anyone else.

 Today, we had a closing ceremony for our Olympic week.  It was great.  The kids had loads of fun and the weather was kind.  Now, I know that my part wasn't quite up to scratch.  The music didn't play from my phone so the singing was a bit lost in crowd chatter and some of the anthems were not rehearsed enough.  None of this was the children's fault and they coped brilliantly.  I don't expect anyone will tell me this, although as I know they probably don't need to but what if there were things that I don't know about.  What if the whole thing went on too long?  What if it was really boring?  What if some things were so bad they shouldn't have been included?  What if my dress was tucked into my knickers?  What if my breath smelt?

I need to know these things but I don't really want you to tell me.  Maybe you could just telepathically  plant suggestions for improvement in my brain without making me know you said them.  I was going to suggest that you could leave me anonymous notes but how soul destroying would it be to find hundreds of notes telling you your breath was smelly?