String and The Allotment Nazis

Potatoes are my favourite allotment crop.  The books say they should be planted on Good Friday, that you need seed potatoes, a fork, a spade and some string.

My seed potatoes were planted today (a day late) with a fork, a rake and no string. Good Friday, is about the right time of year to plant them and it's a day off, so there is plenty of time.  I plant 4  or 5 rows and don't buy a potato all year.  The historical reason for Good Friday planting, is much more superstitious.  Potatoes were introduced into the UK in the 16th Century by Spanish Conquistadors and because they were not mentioned in the Bible, many people thought they were the Devil's food.  The Irish Catholics, however, realised the value of these cheap, easy to grow beauties and so they  insisted they be planted on Good Friday and watered with holy water.  Potatoes are a thirsty crop and so any kind of water, holy or sinful is very much appreciated.

As I'm not a Catholic and not adverse to eating Devil's food (I'm particularly fond of Devil's Food Cake) it doesn't worry me that my potatoes are a day late.

I don't understand the string, though.  I've seen the pictures.  You are meant to make a string line to help you get your potatoes in a perfectly straight line.

Do you get more potatoes if they are in a perfectly straight line?  Does a line of string guarantee that your potato plants grow out of their seeds in a perfectly straight way?  Is it really impossible to dig a straight trench without the aid of a line of string?  What happens if you place the string at an angle?  

Probably, allotment holders are trying to emulate farmers, who plant their potatoes in straight lines because their tractor and plough is good at straight lines. My favourite gardening book is by Geoff Hamilton, who was the first gardener to suggest that a kitchen garden style of allotment may produce better results and that straight lines are not always necessary.  

If I don't grow in straight lines I won't win any prizes but I'm not planning to.  I want to grow enough food to feed my family and if I have wonky rows and a few weeds then it's fine if I have enough potatoes to last me all year.  It does bother the allotment Nazi's though.  They will be there soon, inspecting the plots, in their suits with their clipboards and absolutely no idea.  They will look at my plot and put a tick next to weeds, a tick next to wonky rows and issue a letter.  The letter will say, "it appears you are not cultivating your plot, as it appears to be a little weedy/scruffy.  Maybe, you are finding it too difficult to manage and would like to give up part of your plot to someone on the waiting list."  

Local authorities have been obliged to provide allotments if there is demand for them, since 1887.  The standard allotment size was 10 rods (253m2), as this was considered the size required to feed a family.  I have half a plot and it's just about big enough.  Over the last few years the Allotment Nazi's have been on a mission to get the waiting list down by intimidating existing holders into giving up a bit of their plot.  The allotment next to me has been divided into 8ths.  Mostly, people with these small plots give up quite quickly.  My new neighbour won't fall foul of the men with clipboards, though.  They have string.