Swearing is frowned upon if you are a teacher. You are not allowed to wander the corridors muttering fuck it under your breath. Your job is to shape small minds and managing the language they are allowed to use is another unpaid expectation.
The teacher’s pay award is in the news again. The crazy situation, where a pay review body sets the rise and the government funds it, except they haven’t funded it fully for years now. This year, the body awarded 4% (not unreasonable when inflation is at 3.5% and there were years of pay freezes) and the government said they would only fund 2.8%. Teachers threatened to strike. Honestly, there aren’t many who wouldn’t give up a pay rise if they could have paper, pencils, whiteboards and pens, and glue sticks. This morning the government found a little extra down the back of the sofa and are now funding 3% and offering consultants to help schools make efficiency savings. More cuts. There are words for this we could teach children.
Primary school teachers are often navigating the minefield of language.
Umm Miss she just said the C word.
Which C word?
(Child looks at her foot, which she has lifted up to toe and is twisting awkwardly)
It’s OK. You can tell me you won’t be in trouble.
As a teacher, you hope it’s ‘Christmas’ - a banned word until December.
It can be hard to keep a straight face when a four year old’s go-to phrase is Holy Crap.
You tell them there are ‘home only’ words and that they are not Batman.
The children are confused. I had a conversation with two thoughtful 6 year olds this week and it has made me think k about how much life has changed.
C1: What the hell!
C2: Is that a swear?
Me: Yes, it is really. Not something we should say at school.
C1: (singing) What the hell just happened.
C2: It was our Eurovision song
Me: Yes, I know. When I was at school it would have been a very rude thing to say. You’d have been in a lot of trouble and it wouldn’t have been in a single like that.
C2: Oh God!
Me: We weren’t allowed to say oh God, either. Blasphemy was swearing and you might have been sent to the headteacher.
C1: (with a furrowed brow) What did you say if you were surprised
Me: Just Oh. Or Oh dearie me, what a surprise.
They went away giggling, practising their oh-dearie-mes.
After they left, I thought about it a little more.
The truth is we were rarely surprised. The Seventies were boring, predictable and small. If you wanted to be surprised you needed to go to the library and work your way through the Encyclopaedia Britanica. You knew what day of the week it was by what you had for tea. Everyone watched the same TV. There was no need for extreme language.
If I were a child now, navigating this inherently surprising world I would be using all the words and some of my own.
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